When Plans Don’t Go as Expected: Finding Peace, Inspiration, and Connection Amid Life’s Uncertainty
My plans got a huge wrench thrown into them. Dreams of a hot girl summer with my bestie were disrupted by my bestie’s need to return to Peru for family reasons.
Seeking More Than Just Decisions
I sit in Playa Del Carmen, unsure of what I want next, as I’m only here because she’s here and she’s leaving. I find myself unable to know where I want to go next because what I’m craving is connection over location. While the decisions seem to revolve around where I’ll go, who I’ll be with, and how I’ll make it all work, what I’m actually deciding to be the driving force of my decisions is what’s going to give me a desired feeling. I’m chasing peace, inspiration, and connection.
For whatever reason, that’s never been what I’ve felt at home in Toronto. Life would be a lot simpler if it were. I know I’d be happy, and that’s good… but it’s not who I am.
The Possibility of the Unknown
My mind wanders through the world for possible ways of finding my lover, my answer, my purpose. Who will I meet? Where will I stay? How will it all come to pass? These questions feel like possibilities, as I endlessly Google search location, hotels, and activities.
I end up reflecting on how Toronto offered answers, but unsatisfactorily, leaving a sense of lust for new experiences lingering in the corners of my curious mind. There’s an air of “been there… done that”. As I explore different options, nothing excites me yet. So I patiently wait for something to click or light the way. I’m learning to trust that my feelings can light my way.
Guided Through the Dark
So until the light bulb of my soul sparks, I remain in the dark. Still a little lost, but still guided.
These are my honest and raw thoughts.
With truth & love,
Katie
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