Suppressed Sensitivity Is Behind Your Depression
I’ve struggled with insecurity and depression since I was a teenager. I’ve been to doctors, multiple therapists, support groups and I’m highly educated when it comes to psychology.
One thing I’ve realized is that while my symptoms fit the descriptions of mental illness, It’s not a mental illness but rather a mismanaged gift.
It’s a sensitivity to the pain and beauty in the world, the kind of sensitivity that a lot of people do not get to experience. I’m a super feeler and It’s a superpower.
Living With Deep Sensitivity
This sensitivity has overwhelmed me for most of my life. I’ve struggled, at times, to even want to stay alive, losing hope that things will get better.
Thankfully, I’m still here. And I’ve had the privilege and honour of helping many others learn how to manage their own sensitivity to the world.
The Roots of Emotional Suppression
Growing up, I wasn’t taught healthy emotional regulation.
My parents are not bad people. They did their best. But when I talk about emotions with them, they look at me like I’m speaking a different language.
So I learned to keep everything inside. Not show my feelings, deal with it on my own, and take medication. Maybe you can relate?
Feeling Seen - Finally
I’m currently reading The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin, and I feel so seen.
This morning I read:
“If you see tremendous beauty or tremendous pain where other people see little or nothing at all, you’re confronted with big feelings all the time. These emotions can be confusing and overwhelming. When those around you don’t see what you see and what you feel, this can lead to a sense of isolation and a general feeling of not belonging, of otherness.”
I feel so seen.
I’m stirred up with a mix of emotions: anger, sadness, joy.
Finally, a true understanding of my “depression.”
This validation gives me a joyful peace, a sense of being seen. It also brings sadness and anger… for living my life believing:
“I’m too sensitive.”
“I’m too emotional.”
“Something is wrong with me.”
My sensitivity was never encouraged. It was never supported as a gift or special ability.
So, I suppressed it.
A New Way Forward
For now, I want to sit in the validation of knowing I don’t have to do this anymore.
I can live my life loving and taking care of my sensitive heart, giving it the tender loving care it’s needed for 37 years.
I will allow it to be a gift of healing.
A gift of being seen.
A gift of realizing I’m not alone.
What’s Next
In my next letter, I want to explore the fine balance of this sensitivity, to learn how to navigate its insights alongside its pain.
But for now, let’s take a collective sigh, knowing:
“Our ability to see and feel deeply is not a mental illness. It’s a very normal human experience for sensitive souls.”
These are my honest and raw thoughts.
With truth & love,
Katie
Feature Products & Resources
